When Was the Last Time You Gave Your Attitude a Check?

INTELLIGENCE. HARD WORK. EDUCATION. TALENT

That looks like the recipe for success in life, work, and business.

Surprisingly, these are myths. They do no weight as much as we think they do.

The experts and researchers have affirmed that the number one thing that holds people back from success is their ATTITUDE.

DEFINITION: a way of thinking or feeling about something, someone, or an event that is usually reflected in one’s behavior.

As trivial and insignificant that may sound, our attitudes has much to do with what we do in life and how we do it.

This is awesome, very encouraging, and literally life transforming.

According to Charles R. Swindoll, attitude is everything: Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

We certainly have little control over what happens to us in life. We can take precautions to decrease the likelihood of something hurtful, damaging, or devastating from happening to us, but we cannot guarantee it.

What we can be certain of is that we have the power to react in positive, uplifting, and life changing ways. We can choose our responses. We can learn from the experience helpful lessons and throw away the rest. From that experience we can begin anew with a different skill set.

John C. Maxwell, the very successful New York Times Bestselling Leadership Expert  is one of my many mentors. From him I learned that we learn best from EVALUATED EXPERIENCES.

It is not enough to say “I learned a lot from this experience.” We must break the experience down and study it to determine lessons worth learning. In that way, the experience will become an asset rather than a hindrance.

So, let’s check ourselves to see how our attitude is holding us back from:

  • Taking that critical first step to pursue a goal
  • Seeking the help that can change our lives
  • Asking for what we what we need
  • Taking the necessary risks

Even in the business world,

There are a few jobs where straight

up skills are all we ask for.

Perhaps in the first violinist in a string quartet.

But in fact, even there, what actually separates

winners from losers isn’t talent,

it’s attitude.

Seth Godin

The bottom line is people like to be with, work with, and do business with people they like. If our attitudes are constantly negative, who in their right minds will want to spend time with us?

Please leave a comment and tell me about your experience.

 

Attracting and Developing Lasting Friendships Part II

What a wonderful blessing it is to have friends who truly listen when we speak; they stay in the present with us and value what we have to say.  It is also quite invigorating to have friends who accepts us unconditionally; they know what they can get from us and what they would be crazy to ask for. In this way, we do not have to stress each other out by demanding things that are not in our skill set to give. That brings me to the fifth tip for attracting and developing lasting friendships.

5. Be a Significance Disseminator

Every single person in this world is seeking to be significant to someone, to a cause, or to a community. That is how we deride our meaning, zest, and passion for life. So, make it a point to impart significance. Help make people feel that they matter and they have something special to contribute to this world in this very time that we are living that may transcend their time here on earth. In Romans 12:10, Paul declares that we “Honor one another above yourselves.” People are looking for others to lift them up. The research is clear here as well. We only need ONE person to believe in us to help us accomplish great things. So make it your business to notice and to give a word of encouragement. Be a significance disseminator.

6. Be a Peacemaker­­­­­­­­­

We all love to have peace in our homes, schools, work, churches, and communities. How do we get peace? Does it happen all by itself? No, to have peace we must actively make it happen—we must get involve and actively look to resolve conflicts that are around us. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” That is according to Matthew 5:9. We are aware of certain people in our lives that thrive on turning people against each other, and who uses harsh, hurtful, and damaging words. They thrive on conflict and they will do anything to see a fight. Stay away from them and seek those who have healing and peaceful words. Let’s be mindful of the words we use because they have the power of life and death.­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

  1. Be a Lover of People

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins” (I Peter 4:8). What an amazing verse. When we practice love, our buckets are never empty; it is a well that keeps on giving. When we love, we care deeply. When we love, we forgive often and quickly. When we love, we share with each. When we love, we practice patience and kindness on a daily basis. When we love, we stand up for others and protect them the best way we know how. When we love, there is no such thing as giving up knowing that there is nothing that is too big, too tall, too strong, or too weak that love cannot conquer.

Attracting and Developing Lasting Friendships Part I

We all want at least one good friend who will accept us no matter what, who will not judge us when we fall, and who will stick around not just for the good times but for the trying times as well.  However, so many of us find ourselves alone wondering, “Does anyone out there care?” Indeed, there are people out there who would have showed up for us, but quite often we neglect to do the prep work that is essential to attracting and keeping good friends. Like every good thing, good friendships does not come out of nowhere. We have to be intentional about creating and developing them.

Here are seven keys to building lasting friendships.

  1. Be Friendly

That goes without saying. To create and to develop lasting friendships, you have to be friendly and be genuinely interested in other people. Proverbs 18:1 states, “Unfriendly people care only about themselves.” If we are only about ourselves and the only person we can talk about is “me,” then it will be difficult to show people that we care about them. Some of us carry a “mean and don’t approach” demeanor around. We refuse to smile and say “hello” to people. How will the door be open if you intend to carry daily your “NO, DON’T APPROACH” face?

  1. Be Not a Complainer

We all have fallen short of that once or twice. We complain about things, people, work, and environment we don’t like and expect people to be willing to listen to our toxicity all the time. People get tired of that—they want to be lifted as often as possible not dragged down by all of the baggage we are loading on them physically and mentally. Phillipians 2:14-15 commands us to “Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.” Complaining does not attract good friends, it repels it.

  1. Be a Good Listener

There is a very good reason why we have two ears and one mouth. We were met to use our ears much more than our mouths. But it is totally the opposite for some of us. We like to talk and others will listen whether they want to or not. To begin to change that, we need to practice James 1:19: “Be quick to listen and slow to speak.” We will find it very hard to get to know people if we are always running our mouths. We may keep the avalanche coming because we don’t know what to say. In that case, we need to learn the skill of asking revealing questions. “Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out” Proverbs 20:5). Asking good questions will help us to understand others better and put them first during conversations.

  1. Be Accepting

Many of have this deep desperation to change people to our liking. The only problem with that is that –that is not our responsibility and frankly we do not have that power. We must learn to accept people just the way they are. The apostle Paul in Romans 15:7 admonishes us to “Accept one another…just as Christ accepted you.” We are all broken and in much need of love. Let’s not ask people for things that they cannot give us. Let’s not sacrifice ourselves to mold them in way that they do not want to be molded. We will find ourselves exhausted beyond measure and disappointed in the results.

Three Friends You Want in Your Corner

Since the friends we choose reflect the person we really are, we have to look into ourselves carefully to make sure that we are first a good friend before we can expect that from other people. Proverbs 27:19 states, “A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is like is shown by the kind of friend he chooses.” Therefore, our choice is as much about who we are and where we stand at specific points in our lives. Proverbs 12:26 admonishes us to choose our friends carefully. Here are three friends who will stand by us in good and not so good times.

  1. The Challenger

The challenger is a friend who challenges us in different areas of our lives. We may need a friend to challenge us spiritually. Proverbs 13:20 states, “He who walks with the wise grows wise.” We may need a friend to support us physically, emotionally, academically, and in many other areas of our lives. The challenger is always positively pushing us to greater heights and is there to help us understand that all things are possible.

  1. The Supporter

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). A sign of a supporter shows that he or she has been there for not just the summer, but the winter as well. The supporter stays when everybody says “This is too much, let me get out of here.” This is a friend who is there to help us “Bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2). The supporter is there for the job promotion as well as the unexpected cancer diagnosis, and will stand by our side no matter what.

  1. The Encourager

Everyone is looking for a friend to strengthen them spiritual, professionally, and in many other areas of life. First Thessalonians 5:11 commands us to “encourage one another and build each other up.” Hebrews 10:24 urges us to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Imagine having a friend who can see potential in us that we cannot see in ourselves—a friend that believes in us even when we doubt ourselves.

Friends like these are hard to find. That is why it is imperative to be that kind of friend first.

Five Kinds of Friends that Can Compromise Your Success

As we dig deep into our goals this year, this is the time that we look around us to see and briefly study the people surrounding us. If we intend to accomplish anything significant, we must have the right people in our corners. These people are usually our closest friends. Since we spend much time with our friends, they have the tendency to rub off on us, influence our thinking, and behaviors. So, consider the following types of friends and determine how your friends measure up.

  1. Lazy Friends

Hard work is a foreign concept to these people. What they work hard on is not working and feed on anything that they can get for free—that means things you have paid for. If they have a job, they work on doing as little as possible. Second Thessalonians urge us to keep away from “all believers who are living a lazy life.” Lazy people are usually takers not givers, so they are less equipped to help you reach your goals.

  1. Angry Friends

“Don’t make friends with people who have hot, violent tempers. You might learn their habits and not be able to change” (Proverbs 22:24-25). How incredible is that? Angry people influence your life in a way that robs you of your destiny. Their influence is so strong that you may never break away from them.

  1. Immoral Friends

It is task to process all the images and messages that bombards us on a daily basis, why in the world would we choose to be around a person who lives a double life? They claim to be one thing, when they are actually another. First Corinthians 5:10 urges us to “not associate with a person who calls himself a believer but is immoral or greedy or worships idols or is a slanderer or a drunkard or a thief.”

  1. Greedy Friends

Every relationship allows each party to give and take. There is a constant exchange to ideas and resources of many forms. If a party habitually demands exorbitantly from the other, but refuses to replenish or reciprocate, the relationship will eventually die. Let’s not partake in friendship with people who are always keeping score of what is given. Proverbs 23:6-7 admonishes that “for he is the kind of man who is always counting the cost…his heart is not with you.”

  1. Unbelieving Friends

There is power in numbers. When two people agree to do something together, very little can stop them. They become even more powerful when they have the same mind and share the same belief. Second Corinthians 6:14 commands “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers.” There will be little to no progress in your growth because you will be going against the current.

Three Simple Things You Can Do Now to Supercharge Your Day

 

  1. Sleep Nightly –preferably at the same time each night and rising up at the same time each morning.

  2.  Drink Water Regularly — preferably 8 glasses daily.

  3. Walk Daily — preferably at a regularly scheduled time.

Quit-Proof Your Growth Plan

January is a hopeful month.

A month during which we seem to have super powers. We feel like we can accomplish anything.

We have that burst of energy and the motivation to work hard to change our circumstances.

We are determined, focused, and ready to conquer the world–for the first seventeen days.

After the first seventeen days out of the year, we resign to our old self, unsatisfied with the status quo, but we are too tired to do anything about it.

For some of us, sprinting seem to be the way to get things done. Too exhausted to run the course, we have lost tract of time–with every hour looking like more of the same.

We don’t see the value of taking one step at a time and doing a little bit every day. It takes too long, so we quit.

In order to conquer this type of misguided of motivation. We must create a growth plan and quit-proof it.

To create a growth plan, it is important to do the following:

  • Take inventory and assess the areas for growth.
  • Decide on the steps to be taken to address the areas for growth.
  • Break the steps down further and indicate the specific actions to be taken and the specific date you intend to take it.
  • Create a growth environment.
  • Surround yourself with growth-minded people.

From day one we must be ready to follow the plan. It is crucial to put it in momentum. It is important to have people and resources standing by to take you from discouragement to bravery, for example. It is important to know day in and day out, what you intend to accomplish and stick to it.

The time will come when we will feel defeated and unable to move on. But that feeling should last for just a moment. We must be ready for it by being prepared. When we anticipate such obstacles, we’re better prepared to handle them when they do come.

We have to prepare for a marathon, not for a sprint because we know that what we need to accomplish can only be done one day at a time.