5 Things You Can Do to Avoid Getting Stuck in Your Journey to Become More

I have always dreamed about being more than a mom and a wife.

Don’t get me wrong. Being a mom and a wife are both wonderful and beautiful things. I should know because I have six children.

Even Michelle Obama in her book Becoming expresses the same sentiment in its last section “Becoming More.”

Becoming 2

Perhaps, one reason for this is because I have seen women reduced and restricted to these roles and never to reach away from them in the most sacred of places.

Another reason for wanting to become more is because I want my kids to be proud to say, “That’s my mom.”

That's My Mon

I crave to be that example of what I have been teaching them over the years – be the best that you can be.

As you can imagine, parenting six children who are now between the ages of 12 and 22 provides many opportunities for life to get in the way.

Recently, the oldest started having seizures that gets in the way of life. Her employer recently released her because they insisted that she is a liability.

Therefore, she is unable to keep a job because she does not know when she will suffer an another attack. There seems to no end to this since all medical tests neglect to find a cause for her condition.

The two following her are figuring out the challenge of college life and they are trying the best they can to prepare for a bright future

My husband is battling his own medical problems that may have a significant impact on the quality of the rest of his life.

Oh, did I mentioned that one of our cars caught on fire this morning?

Car on fire

Its batteries have been losing charge for a few months now and we have not been able to determine why that is so.

In the middle of all this, I am trying to carve a small space just for myself to become more, so I can not only have more to give them but to also make my impact the way only I can.

These are just the big stuff; the little things do not stand a chance.

However, it is in the little things that we do every day we find sustainance when life insists that becoming more is not an option.

After all, where is the time?

When you feel stuck between who you are and who you want to become, that is a significant time to take immediate action to bridging that gap.

Here are a five tips to help you move swiftly between the gaps:

1. Remember Your Purpose – It will be a guide when the life gets blurry and uncertain.

Purpose Quote 1

2. Cherish The Moments – Make time to reflect in to see the lessons in each moment.

Cherish the Moment 1

3. Let Curiosity Fuel Your Creativity – With all the unknowns in our lives, grab on to curiosity instead of fear, and the journey will be so much more exciting.

Curiosity 1

4. Laugh for No Reason at All – Laughing is good medicine even if it’s for no reason. Laughing will add life to your years.

Laughing for No Reason

5. Take Small Steps – The goal is to keep moving in the right direction, but sometimes, we have the tendency to neglect taking small steps in the challenging times of our lives.

Take Small Steps

We cannot control life from happening and from getting in our way, but we can control our perspectives and reactions to these events. If you have a clear sense of your purpose in every moment of your life, it is hard not to be curious about the possibilities that are just around the corner. It’s hard to get stuck when you are taking small steps and consistent action in bridging the gap between who you are and who you are becoming.

#womenwholead

#leadershipdevelopement

#thoughtleadership

#bravinglyunstoppable

#becomingaconqueror

 

Call to Action

To avoid getting stuck when life gets in the way, download the first three chapters of my latest book, Becoming a Conqueror: How to Keep the Past from Invading Your Present and Destroying Your Future. Be empowered on your journey of becoming more.

 

Dr. GeGe Jasmin is a woman leadership coach, who helps women go from simply existing to truly living. Please email her at info@drgege.com to schedule her for your next event or to schedule your breakthrough call. For more information, visit her website at www.drgege.com

Keep Going

Don’t Hold Back

Don’t hold back your gifts,

or your unique brilliance.

You are a game changer.

You can help others see themselves differently.

I’m a Little Scared Right Now

Image result for does your dream scare and excite you
Success is risky, but the rewards are huge.

Never before have I been so scared and excited of my goals and dreams – all at the same time. That’s how I know, I am dreaming big. If you have nothing to lose and it is not a must for you to make it, then your dream is not big enough.

3 Pitfalls to Exercising Your Power

We all want to feel powerful – that we are making the best out of what we have been given in this life. But at times, we act as if we are powerless to positively influence our own lives.

We are quick to uplift others and even quicker to talk down to ourselves. As you work on exercising your power, keep these pitfalls away and give yourself the best chance to achieve your potential.

  1. Muddy Values – It is said that if you don’t know what you stand for, your will fall for anything. Know what’s important to you and what you stand for. Who you are must not depend on what people think of you.
  2. Blame – blaming others for your situation or your lack of success is a trap. Change starts with you. Take full responsibility to change your own life.
  3. Lack of Forgiveness – Do you harbor guilt, grudges, or malice? If you do, you are digging a grave for yourself. Forgiveness is a daily practice and it helps you to be free and start life anew.

You Are Equipped with Powers

In our family, we love “The Incredibles!”

The idea of a family working together to protect and solve the world’s problems is appealing to all of us.

Apart from their every day lives, they have something more to offer the world. They have special powers. The most interesting thing is that they had nothing to do with it. They were born with it and their creator decided the specificity of each of their powers.

Just like them, you were born with special powers. You are equipped to handle all the ups and downs, brokenness and completeness, success or failure, sickness and health, as well as life and death.

You did not ask for them, but God has equipped you with the powers you need to live your life. It is up to you to discover your powers and use them. Regardless of what you decide to do, you are a powerful person who can make a difference wherever you are.

Draw the Line

The way people treat you is a directly

result of the boundaries you have set for yourself.

If you do not respect your own boundaries,

why should anybody else?

Do you have people in your lives that demands more than you can provide?

Are you risking your home life, spiritual life, and your health just to please a person who does not even care about you?

Does your husband, wife, or significant other find it empowering to always pick out your self-worth or self-esteem?

Are you yet again giving one more chance before you can address the issue?

Over the years, I have seen how people are treated differently because they demand respect and they have taken the time to set important boundaries. Simply put, people disrespect you and violate your boundaries because they can get away with it.

Perhaps, they have more leverage, resources, and they can count on you keeping your mouth shut. I grew up in homes with much domestic violence and all sorts of abuse. My stepfather frequently pick fights with my mother early on because he controlled all money and there were no consequences for his behavior. In the islands, there is no protection from the law for a woman who is being abused by her husband or significant other. In addition, the culture expected it and accepted that behavior from a man.

However, things changed when he came to the United States, where there are laws and consequences for beating your wife or anybody else. Now, my mother felt empowered knowing that help is just a phone call away…and yes, he menaced her but could never follow through.

Boundary violations do not have to be that severe. If your country does not protect you, that may be beyond what you can do. But, most of us have the power to influence how we are treated in our day-to-day life. Amazingly, he can now restrain himself.

Do people listen when you tell them that they should call you before they arrive at your doorsteps? Are you often volunteered without your permission. Are you expected to work late whenever your boss feels like it?

Do you even know what your boundaries are? Most of us don’t. By the time they feel violated or taken advantage of, it is too late…the damage is done.

So, take the time to know and understand how you want others to treat you. Create boundaries to tell others what you will or will not accept from them. Draw the line. Then hold people accountable for violating you and your boundaries.

You will be surprised how quickly to follow through. Now, they know you mean business.

You Are the Boss

To write your own paychecks and to have the freedom to control your time are signs of success. We all like the sound of that, but what we don’t like is the sound of what it takes to be your own boss.

We tend to have a twisted view of success. We see the athlete on game day and not on grueling practice days. We see the bestselling author on the New York Times bestselling list, but not on the many days and nights of preparing the manuscript. We see a lean muscle-bound physique but not the countless hours that is spent at the gym. Our twisted view of success is what is responsible for our failures before we even attempt to work on our dreams and goals.

What we know but often fail to embrace is that being your own boss requires discipline. Discipline requires us to take daily action in order to transform ourselves from average to good or from good to great. Many times, that is where so many get lost. They are not willing to do what the majority of people won’t do. That is to be committed to do something towards your goals and dreams on a daily basis regardless of how you feel. Mark Tyrrell understands the power of self-discipline. He states,

Over the years I’ve come to see self-discipline as an invisible magic. You can’t see, taste, or smell it, but it’s a effects are you huge. It can transform fat into slim, sag into buf,f uninformed into exper,t poor into rich, misery into happiness. It’s the submerged part of the iceberg others don’t see when they see your genius.

Discipline happens way before the game, the performance, the recital, the art show, and the book signing. This invisible magic is what successful people practice before they see any results.

Good News

If you want to be your own boss, if you want to be successful, it is absolutely in your reach. You must understand that you have to be intentional, nothing worthwhile will happen while you stand on the sidelines. You may not have been born with self-discipline, but you sure can develop it. You can make a choice to take daily action towards your goal on a daily basis.

Determine What Matters Most

To become self-disciplined, you must know what you want to accomplish. What is important to you? What are some of the skills you need in order to achieve your goals and dreams? Who must you know to fasttrack your learning? Once you decide what’s important, it will be clear the steps you must take to make those things happen. You must do your homework to determine and to become clear on what matters most. When that determination is completed, it will be easy for you to avoid wasting your time on unimportant things. Knowledge of what’s important to you, will help you set very clear, specific, and measurable goals that will serve as a roadmap to your success.

Deactivate Your Excuses

If self-discipline is the invisible magic that will empower you to take on your life goals and dreams, then excuses are the invisible sirens that are enticing you to give up. Opportunities to give up are everywhere. As you work on improving yourself to become your own boss, everything becomes an uphill battle, so the opportunity to get off course is plentiful. Here are some of them:

  • I don’t have enough time.
  • I will start later.
  • I cannot do it by myself.
  • I am afraid.
  • It’s too hard.
  • I am not knowledgeable.

We all have used them. Click that button whereever it is in your mind and deativate them. If something is standing in the way of you taking action towards your goals and dreams, it is an excuse. Eliminate excuses altogether and you will be sure to find success.

Prioritize Doing over Feeling

Success leave clues, that’s true. The problem is not about resources on success…there are millions of success secrets out there. Still, the majority of us has problems with becoming successful? Why is that? The truth is, it is too hard. It requires discipline and we live in a world of instant gratification. We rely on our feelings or inspiration to take action. What we need to understand is that our feelings tend to be unreliable and often betray us. If we want to be successful, if we want to be our own boss, we must act regardless of our feelings. Here are a few questions to help you start taking steps toward your goals.

  • What are the consequences of inaction?
  • What can I get done today?
  • Who can hold me accountable?

I Am Everything Because of Love

It was just an ordinary afternoon, a time when bank employees continue to service their customers with their account-related issues. That afternoon, tragedy struck at a SunTrust Bank where at least five died: four employees and one customer. As of now, law enforcement does know the reason behind this atrocity.

When my husband texted to tell me about the bank shooting, I was beside myself. “Are you okay? Is everybody okay? Can I call you?”

I did not wait for an answer, I called him right away to learn that it was not his bank, but one that was about forty-five minutes away from him, in Sebring, Florida. I am relieved and thankful that the shooting did not take place at his branch, but my heart continues to hurt for his colleagues and their families.

This is yet another shooting eating away our sense of safety. These shootings are hitting closer and closer to home. Last year, one shooting took place at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida where my stepdaughter’s senior year was devastated with the loss of seventeen lives. The SunTrust shooter is just twenty-one years old and the Marjory Stoneman Douglas shooter was nineteen years old at the time of the shooting.

What drove these young people to commit such crimes? Does a lack of love have anything to do with it?

I am everything because of love. The love of God, the love of my husband, the love of my children, and the love of my extended family make life worth living. The thought of losing them in any tragedy troubles my heart.

But, by now I know that there is absolutely nothing I can do to protect them from such tragedy. How can you protect people who are doing what they are supposed to do? Shouldn’t they be safe at work? Should they be safe at school? Shouldn’t they be safe at church?

What I know for sure is that only God can protect them. I surrender them to him. I also know that loving them with all my heart and with with both my hands is the only way I can reinvest in them. Love covers all. Love cures everything.

The Urgency of Now

We are faced with many choices every day. The choices that matter most are the ones that help to make the world a better place and the ones that help to elevate our brothers and sisters.

Do not be fooled. Our lives and our needs are intricately connected that what we do on a personal level has the capacity to impact our entire world.

Now is the time to take action and to speak against all that is unjust and destroying our world. Let’s be encouraged by the work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who sacrificed his life for injustice, so we can live in more just world.

I am reminded of a quote I heard from watching the Green Book, a movie set in the 1960s about a genius African-American classical pianist who decides to leave the comfort of the North to go tour the segregated deep south.

GENIUS IS NOT ENOUGH,

IT TAKES COURAGE TO

CHANGE PEOPLE’S MINDS.

Green Book

Dr. Don Shirley, the main actor, was good enough to entertain White folks but could not have a meal with them, use the same hotel, or bathroom with them. It took courage for him to willingly put himself in dangerous situations in an effort to change how others perceive people of color.

How will you show courage today to ensure that your voice is heard? How are you stepping out of your comfort zone to combat injustice?