The way people treat you is a directly
result of the boundaries you have set for yourself.
If you do not respect your own boundaries,
why should anybody else?
Do you have people in your lives that demands more than you can provide?
Are you risking your home life, spiritual life, and your health just to please a person who does not even care about you?
Does your husband, wife, or significant other find it empowering to always pick out your self-worth or self-esteem?
Are you yet again giving one more chance before you can address the issue?
Over the years, I have seen how people are treated differently because they demand respect and they have taken the time to set important boundaries. Simply put, people disrespect you and violate your boundaries because they can get away with it.
Perhaps, they have more leverage, resources, and they can count on you keeping your mouth shut. I grew up in homes with much domestic violence and all sorts of abuse. My stepfather frequently pick fights with my mother early on because he controlled all money and there were no consequences for his behavior. In the islands, there is no protection from the law for a woman who is being abused by her husband or significant other. In addition, the culture expected it and accepted that behavior from a man.
However, things changed when he came to the United States, where there are laws and consequences for beating your wife or anybody else. Now, my mother felt empowered knowing that help is just a phone call away…and yes, he menaced her but could never follow through.
Boundary violations do not have to be that severe. If your country does not protect you, that may be beyond what you can do. But, most of us have the power to influence how we are treated in our day-to-day life. Amazingly, he can now restrain himself.
Do people listen when you tell them that they should call you before they arrive at your doorsteps? Are you often volunteered without your permission. Are you expected to work late whenever your boss feels like it?
Do you even know what your boundaries are? Most of us don’t. By the time they feel violated or taken advantage of, it is too late…the damage is done.
So, take the time to know and understand how you want others to treat you. Create boundaries to tell others what you will or will not accept from them. Draw the line. Then hold people accountable for violating you and your boundaries.
You will be surprised how quickly to follow through. Now, they know you mean business.