Never before have I been so scared and excited of my goals and dreams – all at the same time. That’s how I know, I am dreaming big. If you have nothing to lose and it is not a must for you to make it, then your dream is not big enough.
Your neighbor is driving the car of your dreams. Your friends are always conveniently sharing the latest restaurants they have dined in. Your coworker is yet again taking a week vacation to visit the next island on her bucket list. Wow! These pictures of these beautiful people on social media looking so fabulous and ecstatic in their relationships can leave you dissatisfied with your own reality.
You do not care for facts, that has been proven with countless research, but you have to realize that the perceived social media reality: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumbler, you name it…social media… is conveying distinctly one’s hallucinations about who she wants to portray to her circle of influence and the world. There is no way you can account for the truth in these portrayals. Nor should you care.
Why You Compare
What is it with you…feeling better about yourself and your situation only when you can find those who are doing worse than you. Take this, real estate professionals suggest that people seek an expensive community and buy the smallest house there because it will appreciate tremendously faster than the biggest house on the block. But, that does not make people feel good, so, they buy the biggest house in a less expensive and downward neighborhood because it makes them feel good and happy.
You like to compare down because you want to feel as if you are doing something right. When you compare up with someone who you think is doing better than you or looking at a more upscale community than your own, you tend to feel unhappy and dissatisfied. You might believe that these people who seem better than you are keeping a secret from you. How come they have more money than you. Why do they wear better clothes? How can they afford this or that? You work harder than they do.
You compare yourself with others because what they remind you of the unrealized goals in your life. You had a plan three years ago to upgrade from renting an apartment to buying a house. Life happens, so you are still renting while all your friends seem to be buying beautiful houses right before your eyes. So, you may think that the universe is on their sides and not yours. Perhaps, they have better jobs and more money than you. You let these things get you down not understanding that your are projecting…you are overestimating what people may have and underestimating what you can do to realize your goals.
Another reason why comparing yourself with others is not positively productive is because you have a flawed perception. You assume too much. You assume that your neighbor can afford your dream car because he has more more money than you. He may be eating can beans for breakfast, lunch, and dinner to be able to afford the payments for that car. Maybe his car is the only thing in his life that makes him feel significant for the moment. So, keep in mind that all of these things you assume about the person who might be doing better than you is a concoction of your imagination to justify why you are not in a better situation or have more expensive things. Know this, your assumption is not the truth.
Lack of Gratitude
Dissatisfaction in life can be a good thing; it can help you get motivated to take action towards changing your life. It is an energy that can be utilized to create the life you want. It becomes negative energy when it is derived from comparing yourself with others. You have more than you can ever use in this life. Why don’t you count your blessings when you feel like taking a turn at comparison road. Say out loud what you are thankful for. Write a list of things that makes you smile. Keep a gratitude journal and record the things that keep you ground, happy, and joyful. These activities will help you focus on your blessedness not other people’s things.
Finally, research has shown acquiring things only keeps you happy for a moment, because once you achieve a goal, it no longer seems important. The next goal is just around the corner. That is why you should spend more time investing in your growth and development rather than on comparing yourself to others.
Do you find yourself tossing and turning in bed every morning or maybe be every night?
It never fails. At certain hours of the morning, I would repeatedly move from side-to-side, on my stomach, and on my back, unable to find a comfortable sleeping position.
Then, I would get up, go to the bathroom, and take a sip of water, just to repeat the cycle. With this pattern, I wasted thousands of hours over the years.
We all have different sleeping habits. I prefer to go to sleep late and get up late. However, over the years, my work did not allow that. So, I go to bed around 10:00 p.m. and wake at at 5:00 a.m.
That is the time programmed into my cellphone. Because waking up early has been a pattern over the years, I no longer need my cellphone. That’s a great thing because I am following Mel Robbins’ advice to keep the cellphone out of my bedroom.
When I had the cellphone in my bedroom, I checked the time every five minutes. It did not make me get up and do something, instead, I became preoccupied with finding different thoughts that could potentially drive me to catch another 15, 30, 45, or even 60 minutes of sleep.
This year, I decided to do something different.
I get out of bed when I am awake. When the tossing and turning pattern starts, I know that it is time to get up and do something productive. This morning, the stove clock read 2:40 a.m.
I count this as a great gift of time. I can do my morning devotion, review my goals, listen to my morning affirmations, exercise, write a blog post, read a chapter of a book, an article, or a blog post. I can do a load of laundry, clean an area in the house, or cook a healthy breakfast for the husband and children.
Truth be told, there is always a task in my mind that I know I need to be doing at that time, but usually I feel too tired, lazy, or unmotivated to do it. So, I would lay there hoping for sleep to rescue me.
Not this morning!
My goals and dreams for this year kept flashing in my mind. It was like watching a video. I got excited.
Since I did not have my cellphone by my bed to deter me from leaving my bed because it was too early, I got up from my bed and proceeded to do the things that mentioned above. This post being a by product of that decision.
It feels so amazing. With this little tweak to my morning routine, I am sure that my life will be unrecognizable by this time next year.
What would your life be like if you decided to get out of bed when your body has had enough sleep for the night?
What task can you get done? What goals can you work on? What dreams can you conjure up? What life can you create?
“Learn how to separate the majors and
the minors. A lot of people don’t
do well simply because they
major in minor things.”
Learning to master the skill of FOCUS is as essential as reading and writing. It took me a long time to learn that.
Every single year I would create a long list of goals and resolutions that I felt compelled to accomplish. The list would usually be staggering with items that could literally take years to achieve.
I would give it my best effort for a good week or two before I was too exhausted to continue. It is clear that I was major in the minors.
It was just too much.
I have learned to break this bad habit.
I have learned to distinguish between the majors and minors.
Now, my list contains no more than three items.
In this way, I am more focused and prepared to give everything on my list my very best.
The likelihood of me accomplish three goals with consistent daily action is astronomically high as compared to spreading my time to work on thirty different goals.
So, check out your list and see whether it is set up to accelerate or impede your success?